zigzackly

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Change a letter, change the story

These, reformatted and with typos (hopefully) corrected, are from a Twitter hashtag we started in the wee hours, #changealetterchangethestory, which in turn was ripped off from a couple of old posts on this blog (1, 2 and you'll see that my first few were from my own contributions there), which in turn were inspired by an email thread. Please add more!

And check out the thread, scrolling back to the beginning, before it became a sort of minor viral. We particularly recommend contributions by @tinytoots, @ravages, @leftarmspinster and @rajasen (who are cordially invited to repost their selections here or on Facebook, where this will eventually cross-post).

The basic rules: (a) add a letter, subtract a letter, or change a letter, (b) provide a blurb and (c) if (b) is funny enough, you may be permitted to bend (a) slightly.

Jurassic Pork
Stars Miss Piggy. Kermit guests as amphibian with a taste for the Other White Meat.

Bone With The Wind
Rhett decides he doesn’t give a damn and follows his libido.

The Princess Ride
Another set of Princess Di revelations. The butler did it, apparently.

A Suitable Toy
The search for the perfect self-gratification aid

Vernon Dog Little
Dyslexic boy framed for incident in the city pound.

A Stud in Scarlet
Holmes helps a metrosexual accused of a crime of fashion.

The Complete Woks of Shakespeare
The man who introduced Chinese cooking to Elizabethan England.

The Dairy of Samuel Pepys
How one man milked success for all it was worth

Of Human Bandage
Florence Nightingale's rip-roaring autobiography

Finnegan's Cake
Buttery, over-cooked

Beautiful Thong
@soniafaleiro's lyrical real-life story of Fashion Week

Sin Fish
@chakraview's coming of age story, set in an aquarium

Heaver Lake
Vikram Seth's beautiful collection of poetry on throwing up

Nine Hives
William Dalrymple's ode to bee-keeping

Known Smurf
@anniezaidi 's debut novel about her childhood's favourite toy (yeah, okay, that was 2 letters)

Homage to Catatonia
The pro-LSD manifesto

Popcore Essayists
@jaiarjun edits set of learned essays on incestuous pornography

The Grill
@soniafaleiro on the art of barbecuing

My Fiend Sancho
@amitvarma's experiments with devil worship

My Experiments With The Troth
MKG's story of his marriage

The Decline and Fall of the Roman Umpire
@prempanicker's argument for neutral match officials

Mound of the Baskervilles
A pictorial study of the gravestones of Yorkshire

Of Rice and Men
How to ensnare a Tamizh groom

To Fill a Mockingbird
A guide to the bird-feeders of Alabama

The World According to Carp
Scientific study of the migration habits of this popular fish

Fear and Loafing in Las Vegas
The flaneur's guide to sin city

Match 22
Elizabeth Taylor's marriages

Midflight's Children
The progeny of the Mile-High Club (one more cheat - 2 letters changed)

The Unbearable Lightness of Peeing
Blessed relief

Sods and Lovers
The Hemingway you never knew

The Girl With The Dragon Tatti
Creative defecation

The Girl Who Flayed With Fire
S&M, pyromania; it's all there

The Grate Indian Novel
Slightly irritating IWE work

The Sly Company Of People Who Caress
Love for sale, surreptitiously

India Balling
An NYT reporter takes a gap year in India

Trainspitting
Why the railway tracks turned red

Shtupping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
Frost's raunchier side

Love and Ponging in Bombay
How a deodarant salesman found romance in the city's trains

Malgudi Pays
RKN's guide to budding IWE writers

Sacred Dames
The BJP's sadhvis - an insiders account

Groom on the Roof
Finding love in the hills

In An Antique Band
Life on the road with The Rolling Stones

Maxiumum Pity
When Mother Teresa opened a branch office in Bombay

2 Statues
Best-selling Indian novel with wooden characters

Lunatic in my mead
The mad bootlegger of Bangalore

The Hungry Diet
Amitav Ghosh's patented, guaranteed weight loss manual

The Mother Side of Midnight
Oedipus revisited

Supperman
The sad story of an overweight superhero

The Kite Punner
Who strangled him with the manja?

A Hose for Mr Biswas
Naipaul's epic work on suburban gardening

What Ho, Jeeves
Bertie can;t remember who he was with last night (well, okay, no letters changed)

The 3 Mistakes of My Wife
How his spouse said 'I do, I do, I do'

The Singh And I
@bhogleharsha on how to keep smiling in the commentary box

Spittle Women
The first compartment of the 8.20 Churchgate fast

Withering Heights
Collected criticism

Sex and the Pity
How the losers get laid

The Twin Showers
The Ashleigh and Mary-Kate voyeur tapes

Park Night
Bruce Wayne cruises the Oval, looking for a little Robin

Lady Chatterly's Lever
Give me a place to stand and I'll make the earth move for you, baby

It Takes A Pillage
The USA's war on Countries Which Won't Give Them Oil

Who Filled Roger Rabbit?
A taxidermist's tale of woe

The Audacity of Grope
Another president's memoir

The Audacity of Dope
How an idiot became President

The Wind in the Pillows
Why she had to change the bedclothes

The Call of the Mild
Indian engineers move to the USA

Caturday Night Fever
The LOLCATS collection

Pilates of the Caribbean
Weight Loss in the West Indies

Dork Knight
@sidin's secret fantasies

Blogged for thee by @ 4:38 am | 6 Comments | Post a Comment | Link Love? |


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The problem is us Godawful Poetry Fortnight - writing cue - day 13 Godawful Poetry Fortnight - writing cue - day 12 D Mervin Ffingir writes, and having writ, moves on: September 2003 \| December 2003 \| January 2004 \| February 2004 \| March 2004 \| April 2004 \| May 2004 \| June 2004 \| July 2004 \| August 2004 \| September 2004 \| October 2004 \| November 2004 \| December 2004 \| January 2005 \| February 2005 \| March 2005 \| April 2005 \| May 2005 \| June 2005 \| July 2005 \| August 2005 \| September 2005 \| October 2005 \| November 2005 \| December 2005 \| January 2006 \| February 2006 \| March 2006 \| April 2006 \| May 2006 \| June 2006 \| July 2006 \| August 2006 \| September 2006 \| October 2006 \| November 2006 \| December 2006 \| January 2007 \| February 2007 \| March 2007 \| April 2007 \| May 2007 \| June 2007 \| July 2007 \| August 2007 \| September 2007 \| October 2007 \| November 2007 \| December 2007 \| January 2008 \| February 2008 \| March 2008 \| April 2008 \| May 2008 \| June 2008 \| July 2008 \| August 2008 \| November 2008 \| December 2008 \| January 2009 \| March 2009 \| April 2009 \| May 2009 \| June 2009 \| July 2009 \| August 2009 \| September 2009 \| November 2009 \| December 2009 \| January 2010 \| February 2010 \| March 2010 \| June 2010 \| July 2010 \| August 2010 \| October 2010 \| November 2010 \| December 2010 \| January 2011 \| February 2011 \| March 2011 \| April 2011 \| May 2011 \| August 2011 \| September 2011 \| December 2011 \| February 2012 \| March 2012 \| August 2012 \| December 2012 \| April 2013 \|	Sunday, March 27, 2011 Change a letter, change the story These, reformatted and with typos (hopefully) corrected, are from a Twitter hashtag we started in the wee hours, #changealetterchangethestory, which in turn was ripped off from a couple of old posts on this blog (1, 2 and you'll see that my first few were from my own contributions there), which in turn were inspired by an email thread. Please add more! And check out the thread, scrolling back to the beginning, before it became a sort of minor viral. We particularly recommend contributions by @tinytoots, @ravages, @leftarmspinster and @rajasen (who are cordially invited to repost their selections here or on Facebook, where this will eventually cross-post). The basic rules: (a) add a letter, subtract a letter, or change a letter, (b) provide a blurb and (c) if (b) is funny enough, you may be permitted to bend (a) slightly. Jurassic Pork Stars Miss Piggy. Kermit guests as amphibian with a taste for the Other White Meat. Bone With The Wind Rhett decides he doesn’t give a damn and follows his libido. The Princess Ride Another set of Princess Di revelations. The butler did it, apparently. A Suitable Toy The search for the perfect self-gratification aid Vernon Dog Little Dyslexic boy framed for incident in the city pound. A Stud in Scarlet Holmes helps a metrosexual accused of a crime of fashion. The Complete Woks of Shakespeare The man who introduced Chinese cooking to Elizabethan England. The Dairy of Samuel Pepys How one man milked success for all it was worth Of Human Bandage Florence Nightingale's rip-roaring autobiography Finnegan's Cake Buttery, over-cooked Beautiful Thong @soniafaleiro's lyrical real-life story of Fashion Week Sin Fish @chakraview's coming of age story, set in an aquarium Heaver Lake Vikram Seth's beautiful collection of poetry on throwing up Nine Hives William Dalrymple's ode to bee-keeping Known Smurf @anniezaidi 's debut novel about her childhood's favourite toy (yeah, okay, that was 2 letters) Homage to Catatonia The pro-LSD manifesto Popcore Essayists @jaiarjun edits set of learned essays on incestuous pornography The Grill @soniafaleiro on the art of barbecuing My Fiend Sancho @amitvarma's experiments with devil worship My Experiments With The Troth MKG's story of his marriage The Decline and Fall of the Roman Umpire @prempanicker's argument for neutral match officials Mound of the Baskervilles A pictorial study of the gravestones of Yorkshire Of Rice and Men How to ensnare a Tamizh groom To Fill a Mockingbird A guide to the bird-feeders of Alabama The World According to Carp Scientific study of the migration habits of this popular fish Fear and Loafing in Las Vegas The flaneur's guide to sin city Match 22 Elizabeth Taylor's marriages Midflight's Children The progeny of the Mile-High Club (one more cheat - 2 letters changed) The Unbearable Lightness of Peeing Blessed relief Sods and Lovers The Hemingway you never knew The Girl With The Dragon Tatti Creative defecation The Girl Who Flayed With Fire S&M, pyromania; it's all there The Grate Indian Novel Slightly irritating IWE work The Sly Company Of People Who Caress Love for sale, surreptitiously India Balling An NYT reporter takes a gap year in India Trainspitting Why the railway tracks turned red Shtupping by Woods on a Snowy Evening Frost's raunchier side Love and Ponging in Bombay How a deodarant salesman found romance in the city's trains Malgudi Pays RKN's guide to budding IWE writers Sacred Dames The BJP's sadhvis - an insiders account Groom on the Roof Finding love in the hills In An Antique Band Life on the road with The Rolling Stones Maxiumum Pity When Mother Teresa opened a branch office in Bombay 2 Statues Best-selling Indian novel with wooden characters Lunatic in my mead The mad bootlegger of Bangalore The Hungry Diet Amitav Ghosh's patented, guaranteed weight loss manual The Mother Side of Midnight Oedipus revisited Supperman The sad story of an overweight superhero The Kite Punner Who strangled him with the manja? A Hose for Mr Biswas Naipaul's epic work on suburban gardening What Ho, Jeeves Bertie can;t remember who he was with last night (well, okay, no letters changed) The 3 Mistakes of My Wife How his spouse said 'I do, I do, I do' The Singh And I @bhogleharsha on how to keep smiling in the commentary box Spittle Women The first compartment of the 8.20 Churchgate fast Withering Heights Collected criticism Sex and the Pity How the losers get laid The Twin Showers The Ashleigh and Mary-Kate voyeur tapes Park Night Bruce Wayne cruises the Oval, looking for a little Robin Lady Chatterly's Lever Give me a place to stand and I'll make the earth move for you, baby It Takes A Pillage The USA's war on Countries Which Won't Give Them Oil Who Filled Roger Rabbit? A taxidermist's tale of woe The Audacity of Grope Another president's memoir The Audacity of Dope How an idiot became President The Wind in the Pillows Why she had to change the bedclothes The Call of the Mild Indian engineers move to the USA Caturday Night Fever The LOLCATS collection Pilates of the Caribbean Weight Loss in the West Indies Dork Knight @sidin's secret fantasies Blogged for thee by @ 4:38 am \| 6 Comments \| Post a Comment \| Link Love? \|	Note: [*] = The site linked to requires registration. Zig's on Twitter Follow, all ye who must know more. Words We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually produce a masterpiece. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true. ~ Eyler Coates to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best night and day to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle any human being can fight and never stop fighting ~ e e cummings In three words i can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on. ~ Robert Frost Ring the bells that still can ring, Forget your perfect offering, There is a crack in everything; That's how the light gets in. ~ Leonard Cohen May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. ~ Edward Abbey, naturalist and author (1927-1989) I fell in love – that is the only expression I can think of – at once, and am still at the mercy of words, though sometimes now, knowing a little of their behavior very well, I think I can influence them slightly and have even learned to beat them now and then, which they appear to enjoy. ~ Dylan Thomas, Welsh poet, short-story writer, and playwright, "Poetic Manifesto" in the Texas Quarterly, Winter 1961 A writer is somebody for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people. ~Thomas Mann, novelist, Nobel laureate (1875-1955) The world in general doesn't know what to make of originality; it is startled out of its comfortable habits of thought, and its first reaction is one of anger. ~ W. 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