The #TwyttyrLytton contest

You've heard of the Bulwer-Lytton Prize, right? (If you haven't, get thee hence immediately. Come back when you're done!)

I think the problem with that otherwise brilliant contest is that the entries are, inevitably, very long. Take the 2010 winner:

For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity's affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss--a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity's mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world's thirstiest gerbil.

Great stuff, but, hey, can you retweet it?

So, gentlefolk, I propose the #TwyttyrLytton contest.

The basic rule is the same:
Outdo Edward George Bulwer-Lytton's opening sentence to Paul Clifford. ("It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents—except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.")

In addition:

• Entries must be posted on Twitter.
• Entries must be up to 125 characters long, including spaces, and include the #TwyttyrLytton hashtag. (125 characters is what you have left after the hashtag and a space.)
• The contest stays open 24/7.
• Winners will be decided by public acclaim. i.e., you'll get retweeted
• Prizes? Hah.
• Oh, and you give me permission to post my favourites to this blog.

p.s. Short URL for this post: http://tinyurl.com/tlytton