Alas, I have been unfortunate
None of my assets are disproportionate
'Cept my belly
Which, sigh, is jelly
Comes from not watching whatchuate
Version 2, on, er, mature reflection
Alas, I have been unfortunate
None of my assets are disproportionate
'Cept my belly
Which—sigh—is jelly
Because dessert is so importunate
Got no disproportionate assets
Except—to be honest—my ass; it's
Larger than yours is
By several sizes
It will stay one of my notable facets
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