Does this look like a publishing scam to you?

This refers to this listing, and this one, both on Caferati Listings (free sign-up needed to view).

Via our friend, the novelist Venita Coelho, we learn that things are not quite what they seem at Cedar Books. I'm pasting in a letter Venita forwarded to me, with the name of the writer to whom it was sent removed.

From: publicrelation@pustakmahal.com
To: _____
Subject: Re: submission
Date: Mon, 27 Sep 2010 11:17:57 -0700
Dear _____,

We are glad to inform you that we are ready to publish your novel provided you agree with our certain terms and conditions.

Following are some of the terms which you will be required to agree before we take things forward. A detailed contract will be send to you once you agree with these terms.

1. Considering the word count, we will keep the price of your book at Rs 175.

2. You have to buy back 300 copies of the book at a discount of 25%.

3. You have to make one time payment either through DD or Cheque along with the signed copy of the agreement which we will send, after you agree with these conditions.

4. An additional Rs 5000 will be charged if we design the cover for you and if you chose to design your own cover then for the final designing part we will be charging Rs 2000.

5. As we promote our books through various digital mediums we charge Rs 3000 for that.

6. And lastly you will get a 4.8 % royalty on the cover price for each book.

Hope you find these terms suitable.

Do acknowledge the receipt of this mail along with your response. Please feel free to mail your queries, if any.

Regards

Divya

www.pustakmahal.com

pustakmahaldelhi.blogspot.com

What this means is that to publish this author, Pustak Mahal would charge her/him Rs 39,375 (75% of the cost of 300 copies s/he would be forced to buy) + Rs 2,000 as a design fee even if s/he designed her own cover (Rs 5,000 of she wanted PM to design a cover) + Rs 3,000 for promotions. That's Rs 44,375 (Rs 47,375 if PM did the cover).

I'm not sure of current prices, but it looks like the author would be paying Pustak Mahal / Cedar Books enough to totally cover the cost of printing, with a handsome profit left over. Note that Pustak Mahal / Cedar Books has no obligation to actually print any more than the 300 copies that the author must buy. Even if they did, the author would get a piddly 4.8% royalty on any sales, despite financing the entire operation.

Sounds like rather more than the 'benign scam' of the poetry.com type of website. There, at least, you can choose to buy only one copy of the book, even if at a high price.

If you know of similar publishers elsewhere, do please tell us about it in the comments.

(cross-posted)

10-10-10 10:10:10 – 10-10-10 10:10:10

By the powers vested in my by, erm, myself, I hereby declare that on the tenth October, 2010, at ten minutes and ten seconds past ten a.m., it will be Pink Panther Day. The Day will end at ten minutes and ten seconds past ten p.m.

p.s.

Via Manjula, we learn that we can also say:

Happy Douglas Adams Day!
Douglas Adams fans would know that 42 is the Ultimate Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything, calculated in 7.5 million years by a supercomputer named Deep Thought. Today is the 10th day of the 10th month of the year, and if Y2K never happened, this year would be ’10. In binary notation, 101010 is 42 in base 10. Today’s the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything! Happy Douglas Adams Day!

Much joy!

p.p.s.

Megha wished us a happy tennitus day (we feel the buzz).

And her dad declared it Filmi Drama Day.

Rather a full schedule, what?

Grandson of Godawful Poetry Fortnight - 19th to 31st August

Godawful Poetry Fortnight made its, erm debut in 2008 and came back in 2009.

And now it's time for the the third in the series. Hopefully, like all sequels, it will be even worse.

To reprise, the essentials:

• Godawful Poetry Fortnight runs from the 19th to the 31st August.

• Our Patron Saint is William Wordsworth.

And he gets this signal honour for saying that poetry "is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings." Way too many aspiring poets have rallied behind that banner, too few going so far as recollecting those emotions in tranquillity, let alone reading the rest of the preface to Lyrical Ballads (which can be found on Bartleby, for those interested).

• To join in, all you have to do is post on your blog* a godawful poem you have written, with—all totally optional—a brief note about GPF, a bit about what godawful poetry means to you, and a link to this post.

• Post godawful poems as often as you like during the Fortnight.
•• The True Believers Challenge: Post thirteen godawful poems, one on each day of the Fortnight.)
Squeeze your muse like a boil. Get it all out. Pester your friends to post too. Once GPF is done, you will write good poetry for the rest of the year, yes?

• Please use this Technorati tag on your post: Godawful Poetry Fortnight. Here's the HTML for the tag: <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Godawful+Poetry+Fortnight" rel="tag">Godawful Poetry Fortnight</a>

• To those who feel the need to point out this Fortnight lasts only thirteen days, we draw our cape around us, and say, in a marked manner, "Poetic license."

* I'd be happy to link to you if you tell me where your poem is.
If you don't have a blog, you're welcome to either use the comment space here or the Godawful Poetry Fortnight thread over at Caferati.

Ten ways to impress a journalist

1. Don't bother to remember their beats. That's irrelevant. No matter what they cover, they will be interested in the product or person you represent.

2. Of course they want an 'interaction' with your client. They're turking for it. It doesn't matter whether their publication carries interviews. Or even if their publication covers the area in which your client operates. Your client is all that matters and they will see that if you email them three times. They'll thank you for it.

3. Send out emails, yes, but follow up with a phone call if they don't respond immediately and positively. That thing they say about emails saving time? Rubbish. The human touch is so important and so neglected in this hustling, bustling age.

4. Always call their cellphones, not the landlines that are listed on their visiting cards. That way you can reach them when they're out for a drink or getting some 'me time.' They will appreciate the gesture, since they would otherwise miss out on your important launch / event / interaction. And never call from your cellphone. This way, if they ever need to call you back late on production night to confirm something, they'll only have your office landline and they'll get your voicemail. This saves your 'me time' from being interrupted and the journo will remember this and respect your remarkable work:life balance. Respect is important.

5. Never send them links to large files. It would make the poor dears work extra hard to download them. Instead, send them large attachments which will fill up inboxes. This will ensure that your large attachments get their exclusive attention since they now won't get mail from pesky bosses, colleagues and the subjects of their stories. This will ensure that they never mark your ID as junk mail which will henceforth be delivered straight to the trash.
p.s. It may happen that your email might not get to its destination. You should ensure this does not happen by sending your message — with the large attachments — twice. Thrice for luck.

6. Oh, and never put the text of your press release into the body of the email. That is so last century. Instead, attach a large PDF file with plenty of pictures and fonts of many colours. This will demonstrate your aesthetic sense and technical skillz. (In your covering note, do remember to use SMSese and refer to the recipient as 'u.' Not only will they appreciate this liberty with the language amidst the shackles of their style guides and the frowns of their desk people, this also gives your email a nice non-businessy touch.)

7. Even if they're not working for a daily, which may need photos of your event (which they didn't send someone to cover despite your emails and phone follow-ups), to fill up space on a slow news day, send them pictures. Many of them. And remember: high-resolution images. This shows that you are highly professional and you know that they need print-quality images.

8. When you call, slip in a mention of the car that will pick the journalist up, and the place where they will be staying, even if you know that their publication has a no-freebies policy. Journos are easy to influence with a bit of posh treatment. And their publications won't mind; after all, these are recessionary times, and the news media is facing more cut-backs then ever before.

9. Time your emails so that they land up in the thick of the production cycle. That way the journalists' super-fine-tuned news antennae will recognise that they are important; they will then yell 'Stop The Presses!' (every journo secretly wants to do that) and include your press release in toto, dropping the story about Mr Big's secret deal / mistress.

10. Add them to your newsletter mailing lists without asking them. You're doing them a favour. They lead busy lives, so they don't have time to opt in, and they really appreciate your taking the trouble to do it for them. They're simple creatures, easy to please, without interests of their own, and your company's daily email will be a bright spot in their dull lives.

The #TwyttyrLytton contest

You've heard of the Bulwer-Lytton Prize, right? (If you haven't, get thee hence immediately. Come back when you're done!)

I think the problem with that otherwise brilliant contest is that the entries are, inevitably, very long. Take the 2010 winner:

For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity's affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss--a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity's mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world's thirstiest gerbil.

Great stuff, but, hey, can you retweet it?

So, gentlefolk, I propose the #TwyttyrLytton contest.

The basic rule is the same:
Outdo Edward George Bulwer-Lytton's opening sentence to Paul Clifford. ("It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents—except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.")

In addition:

• Entries must be posted on Twitter.
• Entries must be up to 125 characters long, including spaces, and include the #TwyttyrLytton hashtag. (125 characters is what you have left after the hashtag and a space.)
• The contest stays open 24/7.
• Winners will be decided by public acclaim. i.e., you'll get retweeted
• Prizes? Hah.
• Oh, and you give me permission to post my favourites to this blog.

p.s. Short URL for this post: http://tinyurl.com/tlytton

Irregular Conjugations

#IrregularConjugations on Twitter

I am firm; you are stubborn; they are thick-headed bigots

I am a bit out of condition; you are plump; they are fat

I have taste; you are a bit picky; they are spoiled layabouts

My kids are precocious; your kids need a little discipline; their kids should be in reform school

I'm a patriot; you are jingoistic; they are flaming xenophobes

I tweet often; you are getting a tad obsessive about Twitter; they don't have a life

I am open about my relationships; you can be indiscreet sometimes; they are exhibitionists

I am mellow; you are tipsy; they are dipsomaniacs

I am well-read; you are bookish; they are pedantic bores

I am open-minded; you vacillate occasionally; they don't have two principles to rub together

I am a pop-culture maven; you keep up with trends; they jump on every passing bandwagon

I have personality; you are eccentric; they are barking mad

I have my way of organising things; you are untidy; they are slobs

I am decisive; you are impetuous; they are rash fools

I am an online diarist; you are a blogger; they are a bunch of wankers

I am decisive; you are impetuous; they are rash fools

I have influential friends; you are star-struck; they are brown-nosers

I'm a gourmet; you are a gourmand; they are gluttons

I am a perfectionist; you are obsessive; they are anal

I have a unique personal style; you carry that off quite nicely; they are fashion disasters

Modern Proverbs

Our contributions to the day's popular hashtag.

His blog is worse than his Twitter bytes

Never judge a Facebook by her profile picture

The grass is always cleaner in Uttaranchal

If at first you don't succeed, get a Rajya Sabha nomination.

A stitch in time saves wardrobe malfunctions

You can't teach an old blog new tweets

Facebook expands to fill the available time

Why keep a Social Media expert when you can bark yourself?

Those who cannot learn from history got MBAs instead

No news is a cable TV strike

Little thongs please little minds

The early bird gets the worm. I prefer muesli.

He who lives by the sword gets a part in a daytime TV show

He who laughs last is just conforming

Too many cooks get TV shows

What's sauce for the goose is a light gravy for the gander

To travel hopefully is a better thing than to be an MTV Roadie

Familiarity breeds

All good things come to he who waits at the dark alley with a cosh

A picture paints a thousand words. But I still don't want your MMS.

A penny saved is bloody impossible

A fool and his money answer ICICI telemarketers

Absence makes the heart go thanda

Birds of a feather retweet each other

Discretion is the better part of contract negotiation

Don't wash your dirty linen in public. Sign an exclusive contract with NDTV Imagine first.

Every picture tells a story. Except a Karan Johar movie.

Good fences are necessary to flog the stuff you nick from your neighbours

Money is the root of RDLJ

Man cannot live by bread alone. He must have some reality TV.

All roads lead to @netra

To err is human, to cover it is CNN-IBN.

Where there is a will, there's litigation

Some have greatness thrust upon them, some achieve greatness, and then there's @jhunjhunwala

The break-Up poem

Buzz

Hah! We kinda sorta called this one.

Farmwon't

Nevah.