Been waiting—longing—for the day
Did everything short of pray
Now it's here at last, yeehah! yay!
First rain!

Pot-bellied clouds flirt with the sun
"The monsoon's here!" we say, "What fun!"
Then, to the east, the bastards run
No rain

See here, I ate my fruit and all
Ignoring eggs and bacon's call
Dinner was clean: sprouts and dal*
St Pete!

*You must say 'dal' the Anglo-Indian way, to sound like "doll."

Breakfast at two? You lazy sod!
You're no go-getter, you're a fraud!
Your parents must have spared the rod!
Gerrup!

Another day I live to tango
Pomegranate, muesli, mango
Breakfast is done, now go man go
To work

No more worries about inflation,
discrimination, state of the nation
No more depression or elation
Now that I'm just an eructation

This was in response to Amit Varma, who in response to my Facebook status message (which was "Peter Griffin can feel some nonsense rhyme coming on."), commented:

Monster called up Mommy Dear
'Mommy, Mommy, hunger's here
But since you haven't sent my tiffin
I think I'll just eat Peter Griffin.'

More from Facebook, where, in addition to Mr Varma, Mr Basu chips in, as does Anupama Bijur:

Samit Basu at 08:59 on 13 June

who is fighting air pollution?
who's the ozone layer solution?
who makes regal eagles chirp?
Peter Griffin, sentient burp.

Samit Basu at 09:05 on 13 June

who is stirring stormclouds rowdy?
who meets angels and says howdy?
who makes squiffy skuas squelch?
Peter Griffin, zen-like belch

Sudeep Chakravarti at 11:41 on 13 June

bless you, peter und samit.

Peter Griffin at 14:50 on 13 June

Amit's monster would've been a cow
And we all know, from science class, how
These ruminants regurgitate their chow
Ozone b 'ware! I'm the "me" in "methane" now

Peter Griffin at 14:58 on 13 June

Sure, a burp's a noxious gas
But worse things could have come to pass
One could have been mere bio-mass
Expelled with force from the cow's, um, other end.

Samit Basu at 16:32 on 13 June

Peter G, most kind and gracious
Now turned into products gaseous!
Amit Varma! Blackguard! Thief!
With your pets we have a beef.

Anupama Bijur at 17:16 on 13 June

Griffin, Basu and Varma on Facebook
Together a bio-patent took,
Gobar, biomass or hot air,
Further verses will share.

Amit Varma at 22:40 on 13 June

Samit, Peter, do not jump
To conclusions with a bump
The Monster in question is not bovine
And yes, Samit, Peter's quite divine.

Amit Varma at 22:41 on 13 June

Ok, I'll tell you another fable
Monster sat down at the table
Shouted, "Mommy, just for Amit
I think I'll also consume Samit."

Anupama Bijur at 23:00 on 13 June

The Monster did not cherry pick
Consumed Pete, Amit and Samit
And down in his intestine,
They continued to talk in rhyme.

Samit Basu at 23:38 on 13 June

Alas! This monster du jour
Observes the rhyming Ms Bijur,
Consigns her to chambers gastric
And then sights the Duck Fantastic
I say, 'hey, you, monster, look,... Read more
Want to star in my next book?'
While the monster grimly ponders,
I strike! With the Beak of Wonders!
Spotting, on the corpse's paunch-o
The inscription 'I am Sancho'
I realize, as I suspected,
That fiend Varma stands detected!
Soon as I, now Case Inspector,
Construct my Zig Ressurector,
Spend all monies in my wallet
To turn Zig from gas to solid,
We'll be back, a duo most deadly
Fight this Varma/Monster medley,
And then say, 'Hey! Ma Monster! Dammit!
We fed your son your friend Amit.'

Amit Varma at 23:48 on 13 June

Samit, I like your imagination
I'm sure it'll help my friend's digestion
The Monster really liked young Peter
(Especially his sense of meter)
But still, the lad caused him some heartburn... Read more
All night it was turn, and twist, and turn
But now he'll have you with cold milk
And other poets of your ilk
Such as Ms Bijur (pleased to meet you)
Yes, sweet lady, you'll be eaten too.

Anupama Bijur at 09:06 on 14 June

The beast stirred awake on Sunday
Bloated from his feast yesterday
And seriously pondered Samit’s offer
To star in his next book on Monsters.
... Read more
Thought he, `Three-poets-and-the-lady mix,
Not as good as my own iambic.
Besides the courses came in the wrong order
Where was the hors d’oeuvre?’

`Next time, come one at a time,
Take a token, stand in line
We’ll have to pair you with a wine,
I stand on ceremony when I dine.’

`Amit would’ve worked with guacamole
Samit would’ve done instead of poulet
Peter is as good a sorbet
You see, I’m quite the gourmet.’

So Samit, I wish to decline
The offer to star in your set of rhymes
I’m ready for a food show, I am,
With none other than Anthony Bourdain.

Anupama Bijur at 10:04 on 14 June

`Heston may have his molecular gastronomy,
I have secret recipes from my Mommy
And with Peter Griffin,
Who needs liquid nitrogen? '

Now that this issue is done (done!)
We thought we would have some fun (fun!)
But at our head is a gun (gun!):
Next issue!

Our kaikus we had no time to do
Scrabble suffered grievously too
And books we bought are still enqueued
Deadlines!