Monday 30 April 2018

Sauna sonnet

If I should compare thee to a summer's day
It meaneth this: thou dost me irritate.
Hot winds do irk the prickly heat of May,
It seems summer's lease wast under old rent rates.
Always too hot the eye of heaven blazeth,
These Elizabethans who liked this were dim.
Every hair by persp'ration and heat is braiseth,
The body droops, there is no remn'nt of vim.
Will this eternal summer ever fade?
We do not even get an effing spring.
Not a leaf stirreth, 'tis 40 in the shade!
Merciful death, where TF is thy sting?
There is no relief, e'en from cold libation;
Methinks I must perforce try aestivation.

Wednesday 25 April 2018

Cancelled an Ola because

Cancelled an Ola because the driver was from the BJP and I knew he'd take me somewhere different from where I wanted to go and then tell me it was the Congress's fault.

Cancelled an Ola because the driver was from the Congress and I knew he wouldn't have a map and would have to wait for directions from Delhi.

Cancelled an Ola because the driver was from the AAP, and those folks only seem to know their way around Delhi.

Cancelled an Ola because the driver was from the CPI. I knew the fellow would wait at every traffic signal until it turned red.

Cancelled an Ola because the driver was from the Lok Satta Party. He seemed well-intentioned and all, but the vehicle didn't have a single seat.

Cancelled an Ola because the driver was from the Shiv Sena. Only thing he seemed to want to do is crash into the BJP guy's taxi.

Cancelled an Ola because the driver was from the JD(U). Didn't want to take a chance on a driver who thinks taking a U-turn is the best way to stay in a seat.

Cancelled an Ola because it was an autonomous car and I wouldn't be able to make any jokes about the driver.

Inspired by this: