Sunday 14 February 2016

(P)ink-stained wretches

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sources familiar with developments say
I could get exclusive with you

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How do I love thee?
...
Let me file a listicle
That counts the ways

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Deadlines don't matter
For you I am aching
If you don't go out with me
My heart will be #Breaking

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I'm nuts about you
I have to confess, love
No point denying it
They all know at Press Club

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Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
The Desk says no, that's way to clichéd

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Hey I just met you
And this is crazy
But I have to file by 10pm
Or my boss will slay me

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I love you more
Than press releases
You make me want
To stop the presses

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I've searched north and south
and east and west
You're one I want
To be my conflict of interest

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You say ink-stained wretches
Have no sense of romance
But I love you more
Than my travel allowance

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Do not doubt my love for you
'Tis more powerful than wild horses
I have confirmation
From two independent sources

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O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou a flack?
Quit that PR agency or if you won't. I'l quit being a hack

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If you were any sweeter, your last name would be fondant
That's why I want to be your principal correspondent

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I'll send you all my love by special cargo
And you can keep it in permanent embargo
#PRValentines

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You and I, darling, have a special accord
Don't you think it's time we went off the record?

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Some like Barkha & some like Rajdeep
I'm glad I like them both but, peeps,
I wonder if this channel switching
Is really all that bitching

Or are greater TRPs a sign?
Should I watch Newshour at nine?
Should I choose between anchor & anchor?
Or like the nation, watch that wanker?

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Closing time in the newsroom
& I have an idea, my sweet
The paper will soon be put to bed
We should follow toute suite

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Roses are red, pink, white, yellow, even black.. Sorry, where was I?
#ScienceWriterEdition

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Attn: Desk,
Did I make you wait?
I'm so sorry my dears.
This Valentine ain't late,
It's early for next year.

More offspring of Animal Passions

Nudibranchs do autotomy which is really kinda neat
Post-Valentine's, they bobbitise themselves then grow new ones (& repeat)

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Some fish are sequential hermaphrodites; i.e., they switch sex
So V-day can give new meaning to 'vice versa' and 'doing the ex'

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But behold the Bombay Night Frog: they do it differently
He, er, gets onto her back, then relies on gravity