Sunday, 27 March 2011

Change a letter, change the story

These, reformatted and with typos (hopefully) corrected, are from a Twitter hashtag we started in the wee hours, #changealetterchangethestory, which in turn was ripped off from a couple of old posts on this blog (1, 2 and you'll see that my first few were from my own contributions there), which in turn were inspired by an email thread. Please add more!

And check out the thread, scrolling back to the beginning, before it became a sort of minor viral. We particularly recommend contributions by @tinytoots, @ravages, @leftarmspinster and @rajasen (who are cordially invited to repost their selections here or on Facebook, where this will eventually cross-post).

The basic rules: (a) add a letter, subtract a letter, or change a letter, (b) provide a blurb and (c) if (b) is funny enough, you may be permitted to bend (a) slightly.

Jurassic Pork
Stars Miss Piggy. Kermit guests as amphibian with a taste for the Other White Meat.

Bone With The Wind
Rhett decides he doesn’t give a damn and follows his libido.

The Princess Ride
Another set of Princess Di revelations. The butler did it, apparently.

A Suitable Toy
The search for the perfect self-gratification aid

Vernon Dog Little
Dyslexic boy framed for incident in the city pound.

A Stud in Scarlet
Holmes helps a metrosexual accused of a crime of fashion.

The Complete Woks of Shakespeare
The man who introduced Chinese cooking to Elizabethan England.

The Dairy of Samuel Pepys
How one man milked success for all it was worth

Of Human Bandage
Florence Nightingale's rip-roaring autobiography

Finnegan's Cake
Buttery, over-cooked

Beautiful Thong
@soniafaleiro's lyrical real-life story of Fashion Week

Sin Fish
@chakraview's coming of age story, set in an aquarium

Heaver Lake
Vikram Seth's beautiful collection of poetry on throwing up

Nine Hives
William Dalrymple's ode to bee-keeping

Known Smurf
@anniezaidi 's debut novel about her childhood's favourite toy (yeah, okay, that was 2 letters)

Homage to Catatonia
The pro-LSD manifesto

Popcore Essayists
@jaiarjun edits set of learned essays on incestuous pornography

The Grill
@soniafaleiro on the art of barbecuing

My Fiend Sancho
@amitvarma's experiments with devil worship

My Experiments With The Troth
MKG's story of his marriage

The Decline and Fall of the Roman Umpire
@prempanicker's argument for neutral match officials

Mound of the Baskervilles
A pictorial study of the gravestones of Yorkshire

Of Rice and Men
How to ensnare a Tamizh groom

To Fill a Mockingbird
A guide to the bird-feeders of Alabama

The World According to Carp
Scientific study of the migration habits of this popular fish

Fear and Loafing in Las Vegas
The flaneur's guide to sin city

Match 22
Elizabeth Taylor's marriages

Midflight's Children
The progeny of the Mile-High Club (one more cheat - 2 letters changed)

The Unbearable Lightness of Peeing
Blessed relief

Sods and Lovers
The Hemingway you never knew

The Girl With The Dragon Tatti
Creative defecation

The Girl Who Flayed With Fire
S&M, pyromania; it's all there

The Grate Indian Novel
Slightly irritating IWE work

The Sly Company Of People Who Caress
Love for sale, surreptitiously

India Balling
An NYT reporter takes a gap year in India

Why the railway tracks turned red

Shtupping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
Frost's raunchier side

Love and Ponging in Bombay
How a deodarant salesman found romance in the city's trains

Malgudi Pays
RKN's guide to budding IWE writers

Sacred Dames
The BJP's sadhvis - an insiders account

Groom on the Roof
Finding love in the hills

In An Antique Band
Life on the road with The Rolling Stones

Maxiumum Pity
When Mother Teresa opened a branch office in Bombay

2 Statues
Best-selling Indian novel with wooden characters

Lunatic in my mead
The mad bootlegger of Bangalore

The Hungry Diet
Amitav Ghosh's patented, guaranteed weight loss manual

The Mother Side of Midnight
Oedipus revisited

The sad story of an overweight superhero

The Kite Punner
Who strangled him with the manja?

A Hose for Mr Biswas
Naipaul's epic work on suburban gardening

What Ho, Jeeves
Bertie can;t remember who he was with last night (well, okay, no letters changed)

The 3 Mistakes of My Wife
How his spouse said 'I do, I do, I do'

The Singh And I
@bhogleharsha on how to keep smiling in the commentary box

Spittle Women
The first compartment of the 8.20 Churchgate fast

Withering Heights
Collected criticism

Sex and the Pity
How the losers get laid

The Twin Showers
The Ashleigh and Mary-Kate voyeur tapes

Park Night
Bruce Wayne cruises the Oval, looking for a little Robin

Lady Chatterly's Lever
Give me a place to stand and I'll make the earth move for you, baby

It Takes A Pillage
The USA's war on Countries Which Won't Give Them Oil

Who Filled Roger Rabbit?
A taxidermist's tale of woe

The Audacity of Grope
Another president's memoir

The Audacity of Dope
How an idiot became President

The Wind in the Pillows
Why she had to change the bedclothes

The Call of the Mild
Indian engineers move to the USA

Caturday Night Fever
The LOLCATS collection

Pilates of the Caribbean
Weight Loss in the West Indies

Dork Knight
@sidin's secret fantasies