Our contributions to the day's popular hashtag.
His blog is worse than his Twitter bytes
Never judge a Facebook by her profile picture
The grass is always cleaner in Uttaranchal
If at first you don't succeed, get a Rajya Sabha nomination.
A stitch in time saves wardrobe malfunctions
You can't teach an old blog new tweets
Facebook expands to fill the available time
Why keep a Social Media expert when you can bark yourself?
Those who cannot learn from history got MBAs instead
No news is a cable TV strike
Little thongs please little minds
The early bird gets the worm. I prefer muesli.
He who lives by the sword gets a part in a daytime TV show
He who laughs last is just conforming
Too many cooks get TV shows
What's sauce for the goose is a light gravy for the gander
To travel hopefully is a better thing than to be an MTV Roadie
Familiarity breeds
All good things come to he who waits at the dark alley with a cosh
A picture paints a thousand words. But I still don't want your MMS.
A penny saved is bloody impossible
A fool and his money answer ICICI telemarketers
Absence makes the heart go thanda
Birds of a feather retweet each other
Discretion is the better part of contract negotiation
Don't wash your dirty linen in public. Sign an exclusive contract with NDTV Imagine first.
Every picture tells a story. Except a Karan Johar movie.
Good fences are necessary to flog the stuff you nick from your neighbours
Money is the root of RDLJ
Man cannot live by bread alone. He must have some reality TV.
All roads lead to @netra
To err is human, to cover it is CNN-IBN.
Where there is a will, there's litigation
Some have greatness thrust upon them, some achieve greatness, and then there's @jhunjhunwala
Wednesday, 10 March 2010
Saturday, 20 February 2010
Friday, 12 February 2010
Wednesday, 6 January 2010
Saturday, 2 January 2010
Idjut ramblings
Warning: this is written without having seen read or heard all the arguments on either side, but after reading what is claimed to be the agreement between VV Chopra's company and Chetan Bhagat (PDF file) and seeing this absolutely hilarious clip from a press conference, where Mr Chopra, evidently quite the charmer, asks someone to 'shut up!'
Additonal disclaimer: We're not a Bhagat fan: we think he's a good story-teller, but we don't admire his writing. We have, though, met the man, and we had a fun chat. And we're not an Aamir Khan fan either. We have seen just one of his movies, Ghajini, and though we admired the dedication evident in his prep for the role, we were underwhelmed by both the movie and his performance. And we haven't seen—at least, not that we know of—any of Hirani's or Chopra's work.
Final warning: This post meanders, even by our standards.
We're puzzled.
- Bhagat wants to be recognised as the author of the work that the movie is based on.
- The movie's producers bought the film rights to that book.
- The film's credits, from what Bhagat has tweeted, do acknowledge that it was based on his book, albeit doing so only in the end-credits, somewhere after the names of the extras, which, by his account, he and his mother were upset about.
Aside for self promotion We interviewed Bhagat a little while ago for a story we were doing, and had asked him about the movies. He was realistic, but upbeat:
- The PDF file we linked to in the first para includes signed receipts of payments made to Bhagat for the rights to say the film was "Based On The Novel FIVE POINT SOMEONE by Chetan Bhagat": a Rs 100,000 advance and a Rs 1,000,000 'ex-gratia' payment. (Admittedly these sums are a trifle compared to the crores that go into making a film. But Bhagat was less well-known in 2005, and by the standards of author remuneration, it was decent. He'd probably negotiate for much higher sums now, aside from wanting his name more, erm, up-front.)
- Bhagat brings his own following to projects he's associated with. Even assuming, uncharitably, that exactly the same people bought all four of his books, and all those copies were read by only one person each, he still brings a potential audience of around 700,000 people, going by the figures his publishers shared with us. And he does devote a lot of time to nurturing that audience, through his site, blog, tweets, columns, public appearances and what-have-you. If he asked them to see the film, they'd pony up for the multiplex tickets first day, first show, and that's not a bad audience to count on. (We know eff-all about the FDFS economics, we hastily admit.)
Anyway, we were wondering: why are the film's producers vehemently denying the link?
Why is Aamir Khan, that well-known legal luminary, reportedly advising Hirani and Chopra to sue Bhagat?
Why is Chopra frothing at the mouth so entertainingly? (You must see the bit where Khan grabs the microphone from Chopra and keeps it away from him, even to the extent of sticking it between his legs while VVC paws the air ineffectually.)
Why has some chap going to the effort of making, practically overnight, a website which, as of this writing is mainly a a slide presentation calling Bhagat a liar and enumerating, in faulty English, the scenes in the film which aren't from the book? (That's hardly the point, fercryin'outloud. Of course a film will differ from a book. The way a story is told in print cannot be duplicated in film. The grammars of the two media are different. The creators are different: with books, the author is in command, sort of; the reader paints the scene in her own mind based on the words she reads and her own experiences; with film, it's always the director who is the auteur, and the script is moulded to his requirements for telling the story.)
Another aside Oh, and by the way, the IMDB page for the movie has this listing:
Anyway, since we earn our daily bread, and a modest amount of very nice strawberry preserve, by the written word, we have to say that we instinctively want to weigh in on Bhagat's side. For writers, credit is a big thing. Our bylines get us noticed, get us assignments and job offers. (Another bloody aside. Ad copywriters get much, much more money and give themselves many, many more awards: because they don't get bylines, and to keep them working for you, you have to compensate in other ways. Journos and authors are suckers. Or maybe the next major 'right-sizing' efforts in the ad biz will see creative types getting offered bylines in lieu of increments. Aside to the aside: we were once employed as a copywriter.No more asides. We think.)
Strikes us that there are many idiots here. Not least, all the people devoting so much time to thinking and writing about this kerfuffle, thereby keeping the movie and book in the news and saving their PR departments much effort.
Like, sigh,
The Idiot Who Writes This Blog
Additonal disclaimer: We're not a Bhagat fan: we think he's a good story-teller, but we don't admire his writing. We have, though, met the man, and we had a fun chat. And we're not an Aamir Khan fan either. We have seen just one of his movies, Ghajini, and though we admired the dedication evident in his prep for the role, we were underwhelmed by both the movie and his performance. And we haven't seen—at least, not that we know of—any of Hirani's or Chopra's work.
Final warning: This post meanders, even by our standards.
We're puzzled.
- Bhagat wants to be recognised as the author of the work that the movie is based on.
- The movie's producers bought the film rights to that book.
- The film's credits, from what Bhagat has tweeted, do acknowledge that it was based on his book, albeit doing so only in the end-credits, somewhere after the names of the extras, which, by his account, he and his mother were upset about.
Aside for self promotion We interviewed Bhagat a little while ago for a story we were doing, and had asked him about the movies. He was realistic, but upbeat:
Forbes India: So far, your impact on popular cinema hasn't been as big as your impact on the book world. By this I mean that the films adapted from your books haven't been promoted as being the product of your mind, as compared to, say, The Da Vinci Code. Do you agree? And if yes, do you see that changing?He may now have changed his mind about the last bit. Aside ends.
Chetan Bhagat: Yes, of course my impact is limited right now in films, and I’d like people to have reasonable expectations of me. It takes a long time and a lot of luck to make a name in Bollywood. Even the superstars have worked hard for decades to get to this point. I am super fortunate that all three books were taken up to be big, mainstream films and even 2 States has attracted a lot of interest. However, in Bollywood, adaptations are just starting, while in Hollywood, it is a seamless industry. Also, don’t forget the language switch that happens in my adaptations – which changes the audience and thus the marketing has to change. All I can say is, my name does add to the buzz of the movie. Even 3 Idiots, which is a megastar Aamir project all the way, became a little more exciting because of its Five Point Someone connection. And that, to me, is huge.
Forbes India: What was it like working with Bollywood?
Chetan Bhagat: It is a lot of fun, and I think it is largely to do with the fact that I’ve worked with very good people. Writing books is lonely, but in movies you at least have some colleagues and leave the house so my kids can’t say ‘my daddy stays at home and doesn’t go to office’. Most importantly, the reach of Bollywood excites me. It is a chance to reach the maximum number of people possible.
- The PDF file we linked to in the first para includes signed receipts of payments made to Bhagat for the rights to say the film was "Based On The Novel FIVE POINT SOMEONE by Chetan Bhagat": a Rs 100,000 advance and a Rs 1,000,000 'ex-gratia' payment. (Admittedly these sums are a trifle compared to the crores that go into making a film. But Bhagat was less well-known in 2005, and by the standards of author remuneration, it was decent. He'd probably negotiate for much higher sums now, aside from wanting his name more, erm, up-front.)
- Bhagat brings his own following to projects he's associated with. Even assuming, uncharitably, that exactly the same people bought all four of his books, and all those copies were read by only one person each, he still brings a potential audience of around 700,000 people, going by the figures his publishers shared with us. And he does devote a lot of time to nurturing that audience, through his site, blog, tweets, columns, public appearances and what-have-you. If he asked them to see the film, they'd pony up for the multiplex tickets first day, first show, and that's not a bad audience to count on. (We know eff-all about the FDFS economics, we hastily admit.)
Anyway, we were wondering: why are the film's producers vehemently denying the link?
Why is Aamir Khan, that well-known legal luminary, reportedly advising Hirani and Chopra to sue Bhagat?
Why is Chopra frothing at the mouth so entertainingly? (You must see the bit where Khan grabs the microphone from Chopra and keeps it away from him, even to the extent of sticking it between his legs while VVC paws the air ineffectually.)
Why has some chap going to the effort of making, practically overnight, a website which, as of this writing is mainly a a slide presentation calling Bhagat a liar and enumerating, in faulty English, the scenes in the film which aren't from the book? (That's hardly the point, fercryin'outloud. Of course a film will differ from a book. The way a story is told in print cannot be duplicated in film. The grammars of the two media are different. The creators are different: with books, the author is in command, sort of; the reader paints the scene in her own mind based on the words she reads and her own experiences; with film, it's always the director who is the auteur, and the script is moulded to his requirements for telling the story.)
Another aside Oh, and by the way, the IMDB page for the movie has this listing:
Writers:And the page also contains this entertaining item in the FAQ section, by someone signing himself 'Souvik, thepunisher65':
Chetan Bhagat (book)
Rajkumar Hirani (story)
Which novel is this movie based on?Ends
This movie is based on the Novel 'Five Point Someone' by Chetan Bhagat. But it has not been entirely based on it. Actually this can be called as a totally different movie, just that the characters are inspired.
Anyway, since we earn our daily bread, and a modest amount of very nice strawberry preserve, by the written word, we have to say that we instinctively want to weigh in on Bhagat's side. For writers, credit is a big thing. Our bylines get us noticed, get us assignments and job offers. (Another bloody aside. Ad copywriters get much, much more money and give themselves many, many more awards: because they don't get bylines, and to keep them working for you, you have to compensate in other ways. Journos and authors are suckers. Or maybe the next major 'right-sizing' efforts in the ad biz will see creative types getting offered bylines in lieu of increments. Aside to the aside: we were once employed as a copywriter.No more asides. We think.)
Strikes us that there are many idiots here. Not least, all the people devoting so much time to thinking and writing about this kerfuffle, thereby keeping the movie and book in the news and saving their PR departments much effort.
Like, sigh,
The Idiot Who Writes This Blog
Thursday, 31 December 2009
Tuesday, 1 December 2009
I'm a Bhopali
We Are All Bhopalis
On September 12th, 2001, Jean-Marie Colombani wrote in Le Monde:
“In this tragic moment, when words seem so inadequate to express the shock people feel, the first thing that comes to mind is this: We are all Americans! We are all New Yorkers, just as surely as John F. Kennedy declared himself to be a Berliner in 1962 when he visited Berlin. Indeed, just as in the gravest moments of our own history, how can we not feel profound solidarity with those people, that country, the United States, to whom we are so close and to whom we owe our freedom, and therefore our solidarity?”
The previous day, 2,974 had people died in New York, Washington and Shanksville. And we all felt as Colombani did, our hearts going out to those innocent victims of terrorism and their bereaved families.
**
On December 3rd, 1984, in Bhopal, India, a leak from a methyl isocyanate gas tank in a Union Carbide plant sent out a dense poisonous cloud that killed 23,000 people — many of them that night, others soon after. Another 30,000 people have been affected since, by chemicals leaking from the abandoned factory, poisoning the water supply.
It has been described as the world’s worst industrial disaster. (Bhopal.org has many descriptions and recollections of the disaster and its aftermath.)
25 years later, the survivors still do not have justice. Such compensation as has been offered has been paltry. And, of course, chemicals continue to leak, continue to poison Bhopalis, continue to result in disease, birth defects, and more suffering.
We would like you help in bringing the world’s attention back to Bhopal. We would like to invite you to declare, loud and strong, that you are a Bhopali too.
(We do not want any financial support; this WordPress sub-domain is free, and if we do move to our own website, we’re happy to pay for the domain and the hosting. If you want to help financially, please use the ‘donate’ buttons on the Bhopal.org site or any other organisations that will use your money to help the survivors in Bhopal.)
Monday, 9 November 2009
So we should all stop linking to Newscorp stuff?
"There's a doctrine called fair use, which we believe to be challenged in the courts and would bar it altogether... but we'll take that slowly."
Rupert Murdoch, in The Guardian.
Rupert Murdoch, in The Guardian.
The (Twitter) Gospel according to St Peter
Remember Follow Fridays and keep them holy.
As ye tweet, thus shall ye be retweeted.
Thou shalt not stalk thy neighbour's followers in the hope that they follow ye.
Thou shalt not plug thy status updates into Facebook, that barren land of nonbelievers & quiz-takers.
Thou shalt not bear false witness. That includes tweeting stuff you only actually saw on TV.
Honour thy father and thy mother. What happens at home shalt not be tweeted.
(Unless, of course, thy parents tweeted first)
(You *really* shouldn't have got them on to Twitter, y'know.)
Thou shalt not sledge @stephenfry. He has earned his moods.
@shashitharoor is, however, fair game.
Thou shalt get back to work, hm?
#Thou #shalt #use #hashtags #judiciously.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's ass. Well, okay, maybe if s/he's really callipygous.
If ye seek to be retweeted, ye shall ensure that thy tweets have enough characters left over to permit it.
Thou shalt casually mention @gulpanag in thy tweets, as if you're, like, friends and all.
Thou shalt quit while thou art ahead.
Thou shalt not relentlessly pimp thy blog. (These tweets archived at http://bit.ly/nvenr)
RT @zigzackly Thou shalt not relentlessly pimp thy blog. (These tweets archived at http://bit.ly/nvenr)
Retweeting yourself - or RTing what others tweet to you - is bad form. Only SEOs do that.
RT @zigzackly The Gospel according to St Peter: Retweeting yourself - or RTing what others tweet to you - is bad form. Only SEOs do that.
As ye tweet, thus shall ye be retweeted.
Thou shalt not stalk thy neighbour's followers in the hope that they follow ye.
Thou shalt not plug thy status updates into Facebook, that barren land of nonbelievers & quiz-takers.
Thou shalt not bear false witness. That includes tweeting stuff you only actually saw on TV.
Honour thy father and thy mother. What happens at home shalt not be tweeted.
(Unless, of course, thy parents tweeted first)
(You *really* shouldn't have got them on to Twitter, y'know.)
Thou shalt not sledge @stephenfry. He has earned his moods.
@shashitharoor is, however, fair game.
Thou shalt get back to work, hm?
#Thou #shalt #use #hashtags #judiciously.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's ass. Well, okay, maybe if s/he's really callipygous.
If ye seek to be retweeted, ye shall ensure that thy tweets have enough characters left over to permit it.
Thou shalt casually mention @gulpanag in thy tweets, as if you're, like, friends and all.
Thou shalt quit while thou art ahead.
Thou shalt not relentlessly pimp thy blog. (These tweets archived at http://bit.ly/nvenr)
RT @zigzackly Thou shalt not relentlessly pimp thy blog. (These tweets archived at http://bit.ly/nvenr)
Retweeting yourself - or RTing what others tweet to you - is bad form. Only SEOs do that.
RT @zigzackly The Gospel according to St Peter: Retweeting yourself - or RTing what others tweet to you - is bad form. Only SEOs do that.
Tuesday, 8 September 2009
Celebrate Bandra Festival Souvenir - Call for Submissions
(Original post here.)
The Celebrate Bandra Festival happens once every two years in Bandra. This year, the festival will be in November. I'm helping curate the literature section. More about past festivals at celebratebandra.net (the site won't be updated with this year's schedule for a little while yet).
Here's the brief.
You can submit anything that can appear in print (without spending enormous amounts of money): essays, short fiction, poetry, play scripts, illustrations, photographs.
Please email your submissions to celebrate.bandra.festival@gmail.com
Last date for submissions: September 30th, 11:59p.m.
You can make more than one stand-alone submission, but please do so in separate emails, to help the selection process.
For text submissions
• Your submission must be close to, but not over, the 1000 word mark.
• Please paste your text into the body of the email. No attachments, please.
• Please use one of these subject lines: Souvenir Submission - short story, Souvenir Submission - poem, Souvenir Submission - essay, or Souvenir Submission - script.
For photographs, scanned illustrations or computer-generated art
• Please submit only one piece. (A picture being worth a thousand words and all that.)
• You can include a short (not more than 100 words) descriptor or caption in the body of your email.
• If your image is a very large file, please upload it online somewhere* and mail in a link.
• If you think you must submit more than one image as part of the same entry, then please mail in only one, but add a description of what the rest of the series will be like, or upload the additional material elsewhere and send in a link. If we want to see the rest, we'll mail you.
• Please use one of these subject lines: Souvenir Submission - photograph, Souvenir Submission - illustration, or Souvenir Submission - digital art
In one paragraph at the end of your email, please include your name, postal address, email address and a phone number, land or cellular, where you can be reached during the day and in the evenings.
By submitting, you declare that the work is your own, or that you have collaborated in its creation and are authorised to submit on behalf of the collective. Please remember India's laws on libel and obscenity. And for visual art submissions that depict people, especially photographs, please make sure you have your subject's permission. For any form of 'found art,' text or visual, please ensure that you are not infringing India's copyright laws.
Entries will be short-listed by Rahul Goswami. Rahul is an intermittent Bandra resident, and otherwise a researcher working on the links between economic growth, livelihoods and agriculture.
The short-list will then be judged by Dilip D'Souza, writer and journalist, who is the editor of the souvenir, and Joe Campana, and the selected submissions will appear in print. Updates on the lists will be posted to the Caferati blog, and, if it's ready by then, the updated Celebrate Bandra website.
Rewards: the joy of seeing your work in print, and contributing towards the Celebrate Bandra effort.We are trying to get some small prizes for the best entries, but this is very unlikely, so don't count on it. UpdateThe top five entries, across categories, will be marked as such in the souvenir, and, yes, will get small prizes.
Do please pass this on to friends and well-wishers, from Bandra or elsewhere. Feel free to copy this text to your website or blog, and to online forums where you know it will be welcome.
* Possible sites where you can upload your work: Flickr, Photobucket, OurMedia, Picassa.
The Celebrate Bandra Festival happens once every two years in Bandra. This year, the festival will be in November. I'm helping curate the literature section. More about past festivals at celebratebandra.net (the site won't be updated with this year's schedule for a little while yet).
Here's the brief.
"You're My Home": you live in Bandra, so what makes it home? (If you don't live in Bandra, imagine it). The trees, the birds, the air, your nosy neighbours, your generous and helpful neighbours, their culture and yours, the sea, the waves, the aromas, the convenience, the excitement. It's home, so like every home, it has ups, it has downs. But what is it about the environment of Bandra, seen as broadly as you can, that makes it home for you?
You can submit anything that can appear in print (without spending enormous amounts of money): essays, short fiction, poetry, play scripts, illustrations, photographs.
Please email your submissions to celebrate.bandra.festival@gmail.com
Last date for submissions: September 30th, 11:59p.m.
You can make more than one stand-alone submission, but please do so in separate emails, to help the selection process.
For text submissions
• Your submission must be close to, but not over, the 1000 word mark.
• Please paste your text into the body of the email. No attachments, please.
• Please use one of these subject lines: Souvenir Submission - short story, Souvenir Submission - poem, Souvenir Submission - essay, or Souvenir Submission - script.
For photographs, scanned illustrations or computer-generated art
• Please submit only one piece. (A picture being worth a thousand words and all that.)
• You can include a short (not more than 100 words) descriptor or caption in the body of your email.
• If your image is a very large file, please upload it online somewhere* and mail in a link.
• If you think you must submit more than one image as part of the same entry, then please mail in only one, but add a description of what the rest of the series will be like, or upload the additional material elsewhere and send in a link. If we want to see the rest, we'll mail you.
• Please use one of these subject lines: Souvenir Submission - photograph, Souvenir Submission - illustration, or Souvenir Submission - digital art
In one paragraph at the end of your email, please include your name, postal address, email address and a phone number, land or cellular, where you can be reached during the day and in the evenings.
By submitting, you declare that the work is your own, or that you have collaborated in its creation and are authorised to submit on behalf of the collective. Please remember India's laws on libel and obscenity. And for visual art submissions that depict people, especially photographs, please make sure you have your subject's permission. For any form of 'found art,' text or visual, please ensure that you are not infringing India's copyright laws.
Entries will be short-listed by Rahul Goswami. Rahul is an intermittent Bandra resident, and otherwise a researcher working on the links between economic growth, livelihoods and agriculture.
The short-list will then be judged by Dilip D'Souza, writer and journalist, who is the editor of the souvenir, and Joe Campana, and the selected submissions will appear in print. Updates on the lists will be posted to the Caferati blog, and, if it's ready by then, the updated Celebrate Bandra website.
Rewards: the joy of seeing your work in print, and contributing towards the Celebrate Bandra effort.
Do please pass this on to friends and well-wishers, from Bandra or elsewhere. Feel free to copy this text to your website or blog, and to online forums where you know it will be welcome.
* Possible sites where you can upload your work: Flickr, Photobucket, OurMedia, Picassa.
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