Sunday 14 February 2016

(P)ink-stained wretches

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sources familiar with developments say
I could get exclusive with you

***

How do I love thee?
...
Let me file a listicle
That counts the ways

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Deadlines don't matter
For you I am aching
If you don't go out with me
My heart will be #Breaking

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I'm nuts about you
I have to confess, love
No point denying it
They all know at Press Club

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Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
The Desk says no, that's way to clichéd

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Hey I just met you
And this is crazy
But I have to file by 10pm
Or my boss will slay me

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I love you more
Than press releases
You make me want
To stop the presses

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I've searched north and south
and east and west
You're one I want
To be my conflict of interest

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You say ink-stained wretches
Have no sense of romance
But I love you more
Than my travel allowance

***

Do not doubt my love for you
'Tis more powerful than wild horses
I have confirmation
From two independent sources

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O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou a flack?
Quit that PR agency or if you won't. I'l quit being a hack

***

If you were any sweeter, your last name would be fondant
That's why I want to be your principal correspondent

***

I'll send you all my love by special cargo
And you can keep it in permanent embargo
#PRValentines

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You and I, darling, have a special accord
Don't you think it's time we went off the record?

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Some like Barkha & some like Rajdeep
I'm glad I like them both but, peeps,
I wonder if this channel switching
Is really all that bitching

Or are greater TRPs a sign?
Should I watch Newshour at nine?
Should I choose between anchor & anchor?
Or like the nation, watch that wanker?

***

Closing time in the newsroom
& I have an idea, my sweet
The paper will soon be put to bed
We should follow toute suite

***

Roses are red, pink, white, yellow, even black.. Sorry, where was I?
#ScienceWriterEdition

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Attn: Desk,
Did I make you wait?
I'm so sorry my dears.
This Valentine ain't late,
It's early for next year.

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