Tuesday, 9 August 2022

Less-known musical directions

(Taking off from this list.)

Alcapone: Percussion with a baseball bat.

Aldente: Signal to the soloist to just noodle a bit while the rest of the orchestra takes a breather.

Allego: Just put the pieces together.

Alpacino: Chorus: take a deep double exhalation similar to ‘Hoo ha!’

Cappuccino: Play this quickly so we can break for coffee.

Capricioussimo: I’m just changing the entire mood and temp here because I’m the composer and I can, so keep up.

Commando: Without inhibitions. Like you’re not wearing undies.

Con biro: the composer made some hasty corrections to the score here with a ball-point pen.

Egotismma: Extend the solo like there aren’t several dozen other musicians on the stage.

Fortyssimo: Yes, you once dreamt of being the soloist, but here you are, middle-aged, sixth violin with no hope of making even fifth, so just crank it out, dammit.

Glitzando: Make it sound like the theme song of a celebrity reality show.

Louisvuittoni: Sing this note with repressed emotion. Like, emotional baggage.

Mezzanino: This part is designed to please the people in the cheap nosebleed seats.

Namotissimo: Play the same note repeatedly in a grandiose way.

Pizzacato: Violins: play using the fingers like how you steal the pepperoni from someone else’s slice.

Simpere: Coyly.

Tuttifrutti: Trumpets: dream of candied fruit.

Vibratoro: Take matters into your own hands.

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