Friday, 23 April 2004

The Pun Also Rises - Playtime II

The rules are wide open.
The Victims: Titles of books, movies, TV shows, plays, even poems.
Modus Operandi: Change, add or subtract ONE letter, or transpose any two letters, to come up with a new title, and tell us what it's all about.

Meanwhile, from the Comments section and the inbox, here's some contributions.

From Hurree Babu at Kitabkhana:
Rave New World Aliens land on earth and flee when they discover the barbaric earthling practice of clubbing
Animal Form Snowball and Napoleon take over the classroom
To Bill A Mockingbird From the old South, a tale of racist corporations out to bankrupt a fine and upright man by overcharging him for everything
The Wind in the Pillows Tragic love story centering around what happens when flatulent hero sleeps with head the wrong way around
Mom Jones Chicklit goes grey when a dissatisfied suburban housewife decides to craft her own picaresque adventure
Withering Heights The king of the killer review gets his comeuppance on the moors
The Call of the Mild The ultimate gerbil adventure story

From mjones of scribblingwoman:
Spamela Young girl of modest background rises to fame and fortune by selling generic Viagra on the internet.
The Dairy of Samuel Pepys The comprehensive manual for dairy farmers.
Sensei and Sensibility After her sister is seduced by a rake, a young woman journeys to a monastery to learn martial arts before seeking revenge.
Greet Expectations The story of a young man who goes to Edinburgh seeking to better himself.

From vivian:
The Starch for the Perfect Language Prescriptivism runs rampant in this rejoinder to Umberto Eco' s entertaining novel.
Boing and Nothingness Don't bounce too high.

From aurora of garlic and gravy:
Lucky Jam a story of hardship and marmalade
The Raves of Steel robots get into hip hop

From R at Words in a waltz
The Ford of the Rings Where rubber meets the middle-earth road

From bArt:
Brainspotting A stunningly raw insight into the search of one TV journalist for an IQ above 40 in a Miss Universe Beauty Pageant.
The Scarlet Wimpernel The boring expolits of a sunburnt, ageing English actor and his pet whore
Finnegan's Cake 700 more pages of half-baked drivel
The World According to Carp A very weird tale of a goldfish whose mom shagged a vegetable
Block Beauty The biography of a ghetto-born juvenile criminal who finally finds fame and fortune playing defence for the L A Lakers

From Anwar Alikhan and friends, via the margin alien:
Of Human Bandage Medical treatise on early skin grafting techniques.
Our Mutual Fiend Turns out Silas Wegg and Mr Venus have sold their soul
to the same minor demon.
Lord of the Flues Group of errant schoolboys get stuck up a chimney.
The Unbearable Lightness of Boeing Spiritual awakenings in airports.
Lady Chatterley's Liver Minor gentry drinking too much.
Animal Fart Radical thoughts on alternative energy sources.
The Man Who mistook His Wife for a Cat Miaow.
The Complete Woks of Shakespeare The masterwork of the man who introduced Chinese cooking to Elizabethan England.
Of Rice and Men Autobiography of above.
Men and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance Proofreader cocks up million-selling opportunity.
The Red Badger of Courage A heroic small mammal's exploits during the American Civil War.
Slaughterhouse Jive You work it out.
Atlas Drugged Turns out that he was on steroids all the time. (Hmm, that figures.)
The Wife of Johnson Boswell's neglected biography of the great lexicographer's spouse (3 vols, 877pp).
Finnegan’s Cake Long stream of consciousness novel about a Dublin baker.
Sing Lear Musical Shakespeare.
To Hove and Have Not A tale of penury on the Sussex coast.
Paradise Loft Milton redecorates his Clerkenwell conversion in the latest trendy style.
The Old Man and the Pea An epic struggle set in a kitchen garden.
The Cruel Pea Sequel to above.
A House for Mr Tiswas Chris Tarrant searches for new accommodation.
Bride and Prejudice Lizzie gets married in Chapter One. Darcy doesn't like the look of the vicar. A very short novella.
Lord of the Pings A humble hobbit saves the world in a final climactic game of table tennis against the Dark Lord.
A Secret Gent Russian emigre hides his class origins in C19 London.
Bridget Jones’ Dairy Single woman decides to sell butter and milk
Lear and Loathing in Las Vegas A reworking of Shakespeare's classic in the subculture of 1970's USA
As I Lay Dyeing Experimental account of relaxed hairdresser.
Kiss Me Mate Musical rendering of coming-out story in Elizabethan England
The Catcher in the Wye The angler’s guide to Wales
Claudius the Mod Grave's tale of debauchery, incest and madness in Brighton.
Shot the Dog Early learning book introducing children to guns and rifles, and offering ideas for suitable game
Ann of the Greek Gables A child's guide to classical influences on architecture
Decline and Fall of the Roman Umpire (c) Wisden MCCLBW
Mansfield Pork Repressed desires and nice frocks on a North Nottinghamshire pig farm.
Watch 22 Those who end up on the Midnight Watch tend to go mad if left there for any great length of time.
Where the Wild Thongs Are Small boy visits island of untamed underwear.
Aspects of the Navel E.M. Forster introspects
Sods and Lovers Miner's son grows up to be turf cutter, but loves his old mother a bit too much
The Sub Also Rises Hemingway’s final, semi-autobiographical novel about hunting German U-boats in the Caribbean. (Later re-published as Islands in the Stream)
Nuked Lunch William S. Burroughs experiments with microwave cookery. And drugs, of course.
String Awakening Wedekind's shocking yet sensitive account of the
coming of age of a small ball of twine.
Finnegan’s Cake Joyce's take on Proust
Hairy Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone The plot is the same, except that Hogwarts is now a college of Ceramic Arts and the hero has a beard.
American Psyche A scientific examination of the inner life of the modern American, told through the metaphor of pornographic violence.
The Brother Karamazov Black power explodes in Tsarist Russia (with soundtrack)
Jif on a Winter's Night Calvino's cure for the common cold
Homage to Catatonia George Orwell’s introduction to altered states, reached through meditation and/or drugs
Read Souls Gogol's epic about a psychic serf in Tsarist Russia
Pert Goriot Balzac's tragic tale of an 18th century Parisian nymphet.
The Turn of the Shrew Terrifying Gothic tale of what happens when small furry critters turn mean and nasty.

From the margin alien:
BEING, BEING Frolicksome '60s comedy about existentialists swapping theories and airhostesses* while flying around the world.
(*it was a 'sixties comedy and hence cheerfully unconcerned about attitudes that would be heinously sexist today)

And we came up with:
Jurassic Pork Stars Miss Piggy. Kermit guests as amphibian with a taste for the Other White Meat.
Bone With The Wind Rhett follows his libido.
The Princess Ride Another set of Princess Di revelations. The butler did it, apparently.
A Suitable Toy A comprehensive guide to Christmas shopping on the internet.
Vernon Dog Little Dyslexic boy framed for incident in the city pound.
A Stud in Scarlet Holmes helps a metrosexual accused of a crime of fashion.

Keep 'em coming, via the comments section, or the mail.

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