So here's our take on the Olympics, then.
Synchronised swimming? We approve of fit young women in swimsuits any day of the week, mind you, and we kinda get it when there's more than one person in the pool, and they're all doing roughly the same thing. But individual synchronised swimming? Who on earth is the lass with the plastic smile synchronising with, fercyrinoutloud?
Hm, is it my overheated middle-aged imagination working overtime, is it just packaging, or are women athletes getting better looking?
Doordarshan's commentary. Shut Urrrrp! 'Twas ok when the feed kept the commentary that one assumes came with the feed. The Kiwis seemed to know what they were talking about. But when events of "national importance" came around, you'd get a couple of DD's finest bellowing over the airwaves, the brief being, from the evidence: Imagine This Is Radio And The Audience Needs You To Spell Out Everything. Camera zooms in on anguished Anju George (BTW, good on you, lass! You bettered your previous best. No more can be asked of you.] who has not been able to improve on her first jump: "She is looking disapointed." And that's not counting the bloopers - at the start of the 4x400 relay: "And representing Ukraine, [quickly reads out names from screen, only first names, because there isn't time], all from Ukraine!" - and, er, witticisms - during the closing ceremony as fireworks go off and music plays [roughly, from the Hindi] "Diwali is being celebrated in Athens too!"
The victory wreaths: lovely idea.
Oh, are we done yet with the One Billion People And Only One Medal essays in the papers? Well, actually, carry on. It makes for a change from the bloody cricket and what Sachin Said Next.
Right, now we shall go see if we can find you some funnier Olympic roundups.