Monday, 9 August 2004

It's only a spoof
but with Microsoft and Bill
it might happen yet

The Bentinel has this lovely take off on our favourite target. Microsoft Touts New 6-8-6 Haiku Format: "It was a good start," agreed Microsoft founder Bill Gates, "But everything has to progress, and poetry is no different. The new haiku format allows for an additional syllable on each line, giving authors and users more options. It's all about giving the user what he wants."
"The 'Microsoft Literary Suite' will enable authors to quickly and easily convert their thoughts into structured poetry," explained Gates, "It provides hints, suggests themes, helps writers out of the corners they write themselves into, and does it all using tools you're already familiar with."
"People are resistant to change, it's inevitable that there would be some pushback from the purists," defended Gates, "But in the end progress will win out over purity. It's the natural order of things, and it's beautiful, really."

And for your reading pleasure, this enjoyable set of Haiku error messages that have found their way into my inbox at least once a year:

The Web site you seek
Can not be located but
Countless more exist.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
So beautifully.

With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.

The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.

Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.

A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.

Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

Aborted effort.
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.

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